4. “白胡子，”贝沃斯笑道，”洋葱和肝在哪？壮汉贝沃斯已不复当年，他必须进食，再变强壮。有人让壮汉贝沃斯生恙，那些人必须死。”
或许有些人会，更多人则未必。“坐吧，老朋友，”......

支持下

5. 佣兵是其他人干的，
应该改为：是佣兵杀了其他人

6. 多恩人四下张望了下，
应该为：
多恩人交换了下眼神

没看到...感谢指正
第二个前面那句还是那人说的，原文就没断。断了就好像老巴说的一样
第三个小改了点适应下人物心灵罢了
第三个like as not没有否定意味，英英解释likely的简写，
as like as not; as likely as not. In all probability, with an even chance, as in Like as not it'll rain by afternoon, or Likely as not the governor will run for a second term. In the first two ter***ike is short for likely in the sense of "probably," that is, "It is as likely as it is not likely." [Late 1800s]


7. “...无论如何向龙射箭都不是聪明的做法。挑衅只会令巨龙愤怒，而它们从未经历过如此兴致。接下来……接下来事情开始变的糟糕。”

第二个，原文是
“They will refuse, even so,” insisted Symon Stripeback. “They will say they want the dragons dead, the king restored.”
“I pray that you are wrong.” And fear that you are right. “Your gods are far away, Ser Grandfather,”said the Widower. “I do not think they hear your prayers. And when the Yunkai’i send back the old woman to spit in your eye, what then?”
我觉得，是忘了分段，应该是这样
“They will refuse, even so,” insisted Symon Stripeback. “They will say they want the dragons dead, the king restored.”
“I pray that you are wrong.” And fear that you are right.
“Your gods are far away, Ser Grandfather,”said the Widower. “I do not think they hear your prayers. And when the Yunkai’i send back the old woman to spit in your eye, what then?”


后面两个改了，我发文字的试试看

第3个，我觉得你译的太飘了，我觉得作者的原意是：“无畏的”还有一部分在老巴的身体里。
所以，觉得改成直译意思更明确。不是like as not那。

第3个：中间那句就是，老巴说的，然后接着来个心理活动。
这样前后意思才顺畅。
连在一起是编辑出错了，忘了分段。
我提出改动就是因为这个。

这句是那个多恩人说的，you还是没看懂指代谁啊？
Any way you hack it off, it weren’t clever
2看来是断句的问题了

曾经，许久之前，一位王子命名他为“无畏的”巴利斯坦； 那份年少依旧藏于心中。
这样改基本就是原文的顺序了。这个这句都没有斜体啊

说错了，我25楼是说第2个。

无论什么时候，你做。。。都不是聪明的做法。
不特指，只是补充个人称（主语）而已。
当句类似“名言”来理解就对了。
我那么改动，是结合了当时屠龙的实际情况。

那个确实改了。后面26L这个难道是打错了？they打成了you？