It's all

Eat the rose and the dirt it grows in

I've ceased to exist in the old disease

No loneliness,no misery is worth you

今天跟喜欢的汉子出去看了部电影，虽然是烂片。然后聊天聊了一路，最后去书店一本书都没看，聊天。我想还是喜欢他。只喜欢他一个。

可能直到我死去你才会有一点明白我，那么你就等那一天吧，虽然我比你小二十七岁，但是我一定会比你先死。你说我气色太差了，我简直苍白到无以复加，像所有血色都从脸上衰竭。是的，我心情很不好，我几乎没有开心过，活着的时候我感到无法被满足。我太容易紧张，激动，恐惧。我好想得一场重病，然后立即死掉。

No one is there for me who have already died inside,even though I'm still alive.

You're like a dagger
And stick me in the heart
And taste the blood from my blade
And when we sleep, would you shelter me
In your warm and darkened grave?