下面资料系学为贵内部资料，禁止转载，一经发现必将追究责任。
Some people think that in the modern society a person's social skills are more important than his academic Qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Traditionally, academic skills were quiet significant. But these days social skills become increasingly important, because our society need people who have social skills（这个解释有点循环说理的味道！可以说社交技巧可以让人更受欢迎从而机会更多！）. I would argue（选词不对，第一段你和谁argue呀！） that we should develop our social skills.
中规中矩的一段！但是要把细节真正的细化哦！
In contemporary society, many companies want employ more employees who contain good social ability.（这句话看到这里，本来感觉挺好的！我以为接着会是为什么，然后突出社交技能重要，所以要学！没想到，画风一转，转折了！这就不对劲了！这段你要回答的问题是为什么社交技能比学术能力重要，而不是突出学术没有，要去学！） However, many youngest have insufficient ability and skills. This is because many schools are not pay attention to students' social skills and not array some courses that contain social skills knowledge（这个词组用的太多了！可以用指代替换，比如这种技能these skills！）. As a result these students may not have sufficient social ability.（从这句话开始，突然又回到主题了！前面几句都删除问题都不大） For example（前后不算举例关系！）, it is hard for them to interact with other people and these students also may become not confident. If our schools teach youngest more social skills and encourage students to make friends. They may have more communication skills and become more independent（这地方最好用对比写法，比如如果只关心学术，学生不知道怎么如何社交，这些学术技能学了也白学）.
本段最大问题，一开始好像想写公司，最后又成了交朋友！请注意，雅思作文一段就一个观点，清楚一点！不能都往里面塞！
In addition, when young people have enough social skills, which can help them find a good job and achieve their potential and goals（观点太庞杂，记住哦！贪多嚼不烂！一般就写一个点，不然你后面实现梦想和找到好工作很难平衡！然后在后文，雄心壮志还没有解释！）. The reason for this is that many employments also need employees who have good social ability, such as sell managers and human resource manager.（还要继续展开！不然感觉没有说完，至少解释一下这些职位有社交技能有什么好处！） Furthermore, If people study more social skills, they can earn more friendship. It means that these people may easier make friends and they might have more friends. These friends also provide them many help and some resources.（老问题，怎么就突然出现交朋友了！之前一直没有看到过！不可以突然增加的！）
However, academic skills also crucial in modern society. In details if we have good academic performance in high school, we can attend a university that have good reputation. Therefore, we also get good academic environment and we can find a academic employment（奇怪的表达，这是什么意思！啥叫学术职位！而且没有突出找到有什么好处呢！） easier. Nevertheless, if one person just have good academic skills. It is hard for the person to live in the society. For example, He or she may have not friends and the person may do not know cooking（这不是社交技能吧！） for himself or herself. Learning enough social skills may more crucial（这句话完全多余！）.
本段最大问题没有去解释为什么！而是在通过陈述句不断的强调社交技能比学术技能重要！
To sum up, I believe that learning enough social skills can more significant than academic skills. If we can learn some social skills and academic skills together, which can make us better.（删除，因为观点彻底乱了！如果决定使社交技能更重要！就不可能最后说一起学！）
整篇作文是一个游离的状态！由于语法词汇还行！所以标准的5.5！
这位同学，如果你要考高分！一定注意以下几点！1.一段就一个理由，然后只能是这个理由的展开！观点提到的，后文必须解释！2.观点一定要明确，支持就支持到底，不能最后突然改口！综上所述，主要问题是观点不坚决！说理太混乱！记住哦！点不再多！说清楚才是关键！
Some people think that in the modern society a person's social skills are more important than his academic Qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Traditionally, academic skills were quiet significant. But these days social skills become increasingly important, because our society need people who have social skills（这个解释有点循环说理的味道！可以说社交技巧可以让人更受欢迎从而机会更多！）. I would argue（选词不对，第一段你和谁argue呀！） that we should develop our social skills.
中规中矩的一段！但是要把细节真正的细化哦！
In contemporary society, many companies want employ more employees who contain good social ability.（这句话看到这里，本来感觉挺好的！我以为接着会是为什么，然后突出社交技能重要，所以要学！没想到，画风一转，转折了！这就不对劲了！这段你要回答的问题是为什么社交技能比学术能力重要，而不是突出学术没有，要去学！） However, many youngest have insufficient ability and skills. This is because many schools are not pay attention to students' social skills and not array some courses that contain social skills knowledge（这个词组用的太多了！可以用指代替换，比如这种技能these skills！）. As a result these students may not have sufficient social ability.（从这句话开始，突然又回到主题了！前面几句都删除问题都不大） For example（前后不算举例关系！）, it is hard for them to interact with other people and these students also may become not confident. If our schools teach youngest more social skills and encourage students to make friends. They may have more communication skills and become more independent（这地方最好用对比写法，比如如果只关心学术，学生不知道怎么如何社交，这些学术技能学了也白学）.
本段最大问题，一开始好像想写公司，最后又成了交朋友！请注意，雅思作文一段就一个观点，清楚一点！不能都往里面塞！
In addition, when young people have enough social skills, which can help them find a good job and achieve their potential and goals（观点太庞杂，记住哦！贪多嚼不烂！一般就写一个点，不然你后面实现梦想和找到好工作很难平衡！然后在后文，雄心壮志还没有解释！）. The reason for this is that many employments also need employees who have good social ability, such as sell managers and human resource manager.（还要继续展开！不然感觉没有说完，至少解释一下这些职位有社交技能有什么好处！） Furthermore, If people study more social skills, they can earn more friendship. It means that these people may easier make friends and they might have more friends. These friends also provide them many help and some resources.（老问题，怎么就突然出现交朋友了！之前一直没有看到过！不可以突然增加的！）
However, academic skills also crucial in modern society. In details if we have good academic performance in high school, we can attend a university that have good reputation. Therefore, we also get good academic environment and we can find a academic employment（奇怪的表达，这是什么意思！啥叫学术职位！而且没有突出找到有什么好处呢！） easier. Nevertheless, if one person just have good academic skills. It is hard for the person to live in the society. For example, He or she may have not friends and the person may do not know cooking（这不是社交技能吧！） for himself or herself. Learning enough social skills may more crucial（这句话完全多余！）.
本段最大问题没有去解释为什么！而是在通过陈述句不断的强调社交技能比学术技能重要！
To sum up, I believe that learning enough social skills can more significant than academic skills. If we can learn some social skills and academic skills together, which can make us better.（删除，因为观点彻底乱了！如果决定使社交技能更重要！就不可能最后说一起学！）
整篇作文是一个游离的状态！由于语法词汇还行！所以标准的5.5！
这位同学，如果你要考高分！一定注意以下几点！1.一段就一个理由，然后只能是这个理由的展开！观点提到的，后文必须解释！2.观点一定要明确，支持就支持到底，不能最后突然改口！综上所述，主要问题是观点不坚决！说理太混乱！记住哦！点不再多！说清楚才是关键！
