A quiet silent night, except the song of the crickets, melodious and distant, which is like that clear moonlight sprinkle the dry harvested farmland producing green thunder light. Old Banyan Tree’s big branches cover and protect us like a big umbrella. Another day, the bus keeps going, passing by stops again and again, and I looked back to find something, the round sun seems like a red lantern, which lied besides the shadow of the big Banyan Tree closely. Granny, I haven’t met you since then, are you still waiting for me with the small oil lamp and hoping me back.

这是我翻的有啥语病吗？特别是时态...

稍微有点小毛病，比如sprinkle没有单三

写的挺好，但我觉得是你创作的部分有点多了。
比如你开头是A quiet silent night, except...
实际上中文的意思是，it's very quiet... 可能你觉得不够优美，你改了，但这样就有点创造多了。。等于是你自己在写了，

致橡树.可以试着翻译翻译

Crickets were chiriping melodiously from afar through the nocturnal silence. Harveted farmland under the splendor of moonshine, as it was lit by white lightning.
有些英语文学的风格就是用长句和literary的词。避免了短句和排比。

Why are the Banyan Tree written in capital letters?
Granny sounds wrong, it should be mother-in-law, is it a story of a marital relation?
Since it is an excerpt, it is difficult to find out the context to make correct judgment of the translation, even the original is not very clear either.

我当时觉得大写小写都可以吧，这个应该不影响，所以没太在意
觉得granny口语化好亲切，嘎嘎嘎，是噢应该是婆婆。
上下文我当时找到了，是70/80年代知青下乡劳改那种，等等哈给你瞅瞅嘿嘿嘿，
谢谢

“秋虫的长鸣”，是象火车那样的长鸣吗？
收割后的田畦会是干燥的吗？“擦出青色的闪电是描写怎样的画面？感觉东一句西一句的让人读的不爽。”